Friday, March 26, 2010

The Definition of ‘Freakout’

By Jonah Goldberg

"During the 2004 Democratic convention I was on a train heading to Boston's Fleet Center. While straining to contain my excitement over the prospect of hearing presidential nominee John Kerry's soaring oratory (and seeing vice presidential candidate John Edwards' hair), I was distracted by a woman standing in front of me. She was part of a big group of very excited Democrats, convinced that their man was going to lift the dark, evil cloud that hung over George Bush's America like the shadow of Sauron over Mordor. It was, of course, not to be. It turned out that the Human Toothache and the Silky Pony were not what the American people were looking for in 2004.


Anyway, back to that woman. Her demeanor and appearance suggested that the used bookstore/macrobiotic-aromatherapy caf she worked for had given her as much time off as she needed to attend the convention and save the country. And she came prepared. Adorning what appeared to be her Eastern European soldier's topcoat, she had a giant button. It read: "I do not consent to any search.""

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