Monday, April 28, 2008

From some wiseass

  • “Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.”
  • “Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.”
  • “Virgin like balloon…one prick, all gone.”
  • “Baseball wrong…man with four balls cannot walk!”
  • “Work to become, not to acquire.”
  • “Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard.”
  • “A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.”
  • “Find old man in dark, not hard!”
  • “Man who smoke pot choke on handle.”
  • “OK for shit to happen…will decompose.”
  • “Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.”
  • “Sailor who gets discharged from Navy leave buddies behind.”
  • “Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk.”
  • “Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.”
  • “He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double-crosser.”
  • “Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!”
  • “It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.”
  • “Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed.”
  • “Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.”
  • “Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.”
  • “Confucius say too God damn much!”
  • “Those who quote me are fools.”
  • “Man who drive like hell bound to get there!”
  • “Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!”
  • “Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!”
  • “Man who sit on tack get point!”
  • “Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!”
  • “Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!”
  • “War not determine who’s right, war determines who’s left.”
  • “Woman who goes to man’s apartment for snack, gets titbit.”
  • “Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.”
  • “Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.”
  • “Man who kisses girl’s behind, gets crack in face.”
  • “Passionate kiss like spider web…lead to undoing of fly.”
  • “Man with holes in pants pockets, feels cocky all day.”
  • “Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.”
  • “Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.”
  • “Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.”
  • “Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.”

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